Gay? Bi? Straight? It’s Complicated.
Have you ever heard of "the Kinsey Scale"?
Kinsey was the first real scientist to look at how people actually fuck. He did these big surveys back in the 1940s and 50s, asking thousands and thousands of men and women about what they really did sexually, not what society thought they did.
And he found out they were up to all sorts of crazy shit.
One of the things he discovered was that men aren't simply straight or gay, even though most would say in public they are straight. It's more like a rainbow, with men showing all sorts of different attitudes and behaviours.
Some guys are totally straight, some are totally gay, but there's quite a lot of room in the middle.
Some of these guys figure "Any hole's a goal" and just go for their pleasure where they find it. Maybe it's late at night and they're horny and they just want a blow-job or a hole to fuck. Some straight guys have a real fantasy about being fucked by a guy and might live that out every now and then.
Some guys are genuinely turned on by other men to some degree; they get off on men's bodies as well as women's ones. And for some it's emotional - they might usually tend to be attracted to women, but if they fall in love with a guy they can have a sexual relationship too. And sometimes mates have a few beers together and... things happen. Does it mean they're gay? Probably not.
There seem to be a lot more guys who don't think of themselves as gay looking for sex on online dating sites. They want a bit of fun, they want to get off, but they're not all that connected to mainstream gay life.
So if you do think of yourself as gay, it means that sometimes we run into guys who want to fuck but are not part of our world. Often they don't understand safe-sex that well, they might just want to fuck or get fucked and question why you want to use a condom. It can get boring explaining, but it's for the best if you do. And not just for HIV - don't forget about things like gonorrhoea and syphilis. Just tell them that you like to stay healthy and this is the best way to be sure.
As Kinsey said - “Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats…The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects.”
Variety is the spice of life, but remember you might need to take a bit more care with some guys than others.