Sex

Sex

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Ready to fuck?

Everybody has a first time. In here you’ll find all you need to make sure it’s fun, sexy, safe and unforgettable – not something you wish you could forget.

Confidence

Pornographic magazines and videos are often the major source of information about sex for guys who fuck other guys. They generally portray man-to-man sex in a very unrealistic and unsafe manner, which can lead to concerns about what is ‘normal’ sex for men who love men.

As a result, many of us put up with pain and discomfort or feel a loss of control of the situation when they have sex with another man.

Knowing what’s happening and being in control will make you more confident and make your sex much better and way more fun.

Sex is a natural human drive – we all have it – and as part of intimacy, it’s one of life’s great joys. All humans need to be touched. It’s a biological need. Touching and fucking are as natural as breathing. They are not something to be ashamed about.

When condoms are used, sex can be even more satisfying because you have the freedom to enjoy the sex you want without worrying about HIV and other STIs.

Top or Bottom?

Most guys who are into anal sex like to fuck and be fucked. Others prefer one role or another – insertive or receptive; top or bottom; dominant or submissive. Whatever the situation, talk about it. Stay in control. Remember that you’re not obliged to do anything you don’t want to. 

Check out our How To Have Anal Sex Videos. They’re a great resource for first timers, whether you're going to be the top or the bottom.

Right, now what?!

If you are a condom user, ensure you know how to put a condom on properly. If you think you know, it can't hurt to have a quick look and make sure – watch our how to put on a condom video with a real life model.

If you're HIV negative and struggle with consistent condom use, you could consider taking PrEP to stay safe. But remember that while PrEP is great at preventing HIV transmission, it won't protect you against other STIs like gonorrhoea, syphilis or chlamydia.

The keys to safe sex are trust and confidence – trust in your partner and confidence in the effectiveness of safe sex. If you’re being fucked for the first time it’s very important that you’re relaxed. Foreplay is important. It isn’t a race, so take your time. Take it easy – and slowly. Foreplay includes the entire body – not just the dick and balls – and getting turned on is gradual, not instant, especially before penetration.

Some guys like to douche before they get down to business too.

The most comfortable and emotionally safe positions to start with are those in which the person being fucked has maximum control. Lying side-by-side is a good position to start with – or sitting on his cock, gradually lowering yourself onto it at your own pace.

When the asshole is relaxed (e.g. as after the fingering technique) apply lots of water-based or silicone-based lube to both the anus and condom-covered cock. While he’s pushing his cock in, make sure you’re both in control and taking it easy – especially at first – and slowly.

The anal opening is usually quite elastic and with patience will stretch comfortably. However, forced entry – ‘pushing past the pain’ which is often shown in porn – can cause bleeding and tear your sphincter muscles.

The first few times you fuck it may take 20 minutes or more – and several attempts – before your anus starts to relax and gets used to the feeling of a cock inside it. If your partner’s having trouble getting his cock in, push out slightly as he enters you. It will make it easier.

At first, pressure on the prostate gland might make you feel as though you want to piss. The first few times you’re fucked it can also feel uncomfortable afterwards and you might feel like sitting on the toilet for a while. These sensations are mostly an illusion. Your body got the message that your ass felt full and reacted accordingly. In time your body will adapt and learn to separate these sensations from the real ones.

What makes being fucked pleasurable for men is the penis pushing against the prostate. Pressure is least intense in the side-by-side position or with the person being fucked lying face down. It’s most intense when the man being fucked has his legs up over his head.

It is important to remember that fucking without a condom or PrEP, or UVL is not safe.

Your pre-cum can carry HIV or other STIs and the virus can enter the end of your cock from contact with infected membranes in the ass. Always uses lots of lube and a condom, or consider taking PrEP - this will greatly reduce the chance for HIV transmission. 

You can get condoms and lube for free from endinghiv.org.nz, but buying your own condoms you more choice and allows you to be sure you have the perfect fit. Pharmacies, supermarkets, and adult shops have the best selection.

Standard condoms are available in bulk for only $5 from your nearest sexual health clinic or Family Planning.

When you’re fucking someone with a condom, pull your cock out every now and then and check that the condom hasn’t slipped off and that it’s still intact. If it has come off or is torn, don’t panic. You can re-lube, put on a new condom and continue if you want to.

If you’re being fucked by someone you don’t know, it’s a good idea to check every now and then that he’s still wearing a condom (some guys do take condoms off during sex) Just reach down to your ass and feel his dick slide in and out- you'll be able to tell with your fingers if he's still wearing a condom. If you both are not using condoms, you can consider taking PrEP. If you or your sexual partner is living with HIV, but has maintained an undetectable viral load for at least six months, the virus cannot be passed on sexually. 

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