Sex

Sex

Back to sex articles

Using Sex Toys with a Partner

Using sex toys can be a really awesome way to develop your sexual relationship with someone, but there are so many different types of toys out there that it's often very difficult to work out where to get started. From double ended dildos to masturbation sleeves you can mount to the wall of your shower, there is a pretty amazing range, so let me walk you through some of the basics.

Know where you are at and what you want to try; it's really important that you are in touch with your body. Have you had anything in your butt before, and are you comfortable with it? It could be the case that you want to get used to being fucked, or maybe you are all good with bottoming but want to work out where your prostate is.

Toys can be a really useful aid for training your body for pleasure. The key is to avoid trying to take shortcuts. Don’t go to a big dildo if you have never had anything in your butt before, start off small and work your way up. It’s fun to take your time with these things; it’s a lot safer on your body and will feel so much better!

Not sure what you might like to try? Here are some ideas:

  • Use a small butt plug or dildo with your partner to get used to bottoming
  • Use a dildo on each other at the same time, 69er style
  • How about a double ended dildo? These are a surprisingly intimate experience which works best with both partners lying on their backs, legs hooked over each other’s
  • Wear a butt plug while topping someone. It will hit your prostate which makes your dick harder and your orgasms way stronger
  • Use a jerk off toy like a Fleshlight as someone is fucking you
  • Are you an experienced bottom? Try double penetration with your partner and a toy before inviting someone else to join in

Get used to using a toy by yourself first, this is extremely important. If your partner is going to use a toy on you, make sure you know you can handle it safely and how you like it to be used. If you are going to use a toy on another guy make sure you know how it’s going to feel for him. Empathy goes a long way.

Once you have planned out what you want to try and each had a play around with the toy first, you can jump into playing together. Communication is key here, make sure both of you are on the same page. If it hurts, tell him - the solution could be as simple as angling the toy differently. A sense of humour helps a lot when it comes to getting used to new things during sex, this is because in real life sex is not like porn. It could be a toy falling out, an awkward noise you make or something else ridiculous that happens, but if you laugh about it it’s a lot easier to move on from an embarrassing experience.

Have a think about where you’re at and what you want to try. Whether it’s about getting confident and comfortable with having sex, bringing some adventure into the bedroom, becoming the world’s best power bottom, or getting a hands free prostate orgasm, there's definitely a toy out there you can have some fun with.

Latest Content

Latest Content

Join us in Ending HIV in New Zealand! Pledge your support by signing up below:

The NZAF is passionately committed to working hand in hand with partners and the community to end HIV in New Zealand. By staying safe, testing often and treating early we can stop HIV in its tracks. Read more...


Supporting Organisations